Up Yours Keith Olberman!

If the buzz over the last few days is anything to go by, these photographs will likely go down in history as the most controversial Sasquatch pictures since the Patterson film. All eyes of the Fortean world are on Pennsylvania, as people puzzle over two pictures that may show a young Sasquatch!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5LgTjp0h5Q

These videos on the Patterson film might also interst you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WG7Zon78pqk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YktEWmLVTvM

So, what's the low-down on Bigfoot? Here are the true facts:

Fact: Not only has Bigfoot been seen in every state and every Canadian province, Bigfoot-like creatures have been seen throughout the world. In Tibet, they are called Yetis; in Russia, they are called Almas; in Australia, Yowies.

Fact: All sightings of these creatures are consistent, describing a six to nine foot tall hairy (and usually smelly) humanoid.

Fact: DNA samples have been collected at the sight of Sasquatch sightings. Results? Well, it isn't human, but isn't ape either.

Fact: Similar tests have been conducted on alleged Bigfoot hair and sound recordings. Results? See above.

Fact: Of the thousands of casts made of Sasquatch foot prints, many contain dermal ridges (the ridges that make finger prints). This would be virtually impossible to fake.

Fact: The dermal ridges go left to right. On every other primate, they go top to bottom. On Bigfoot? They go diagonally.

Fact: While the forests of the Pacific Northwest (Bigfoot country) are widely traveled, no less than 75 airplanes have gone down in them. Never to be seen again.

Fact: While no one has ever come across the body of a naturally dead Bigfoot, no one usually finds naturally dead bears either.

Fact: A Bigfoot was once in fact captured. By a circus. They named it "Jacko" and planned to show it as a curiosity. It escaped en route. (Calling this a fact is stretching it, but I tend to believe it).

Fact: Hunter and president Teddy Roosevelt encountered a bigfoot in the wilderness. He wrote about it in a book. Many believe he died convinced the creature was real.

Fact: (And this one is for the people who claim that Bigfoot is nothing more than an elaborate hoax) The earliest known records of Bigfoot sightings can be found in the Sagas of Lief Eriksson. They were written over one thousand years ago. One thousand years ago...

As for the pictures that sparked this article, I make no judgment except to say, that's no bear.

So, the next time you find yourself hiking through uncharted wilderness and start to smell an awful sent, take my advice; stay low to the ground and don't move a muscle. I know of no case where a Sasquatch killed a human being. Save one. It was threatened.

Good night, everyone, and good luck.

The Night Stalker


PS. Today's title is in response to a video I saw of Keith Olberman. Basically he spent the whole time dismissing the issue without thinking. You can watch it there:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5c_XAgwPxM

PPS. It is highly unprofessional of me to diss Keith Olberman on my blog. Fortunately, I'm not a professional; I'm not making a penny from this!

PPPS. I post these things at night, usually between 10 and 12. For some reason, it says I posted that last one at 4:21. I'm trying to fix it. I'm the Night Stalker, after all, not the Early Afternoon Stalker.

PPPPS. I'm watching the original Planet of the Apes right now. Thought I'd mention that.